Miniature Knitting

Especially for CraftyDramaQueen 🙂
A couple of weeks ago, I found an amazing set on Flickr, a lady who knits the most incredible miniature stuff – well, see for yourself. I remember thinking “I really need to have a go at this” because that’s what I do – I see a seemingly impossible craft and I have to try it.
My first attempt was just plain stocking stitch, which I started at the knitting group. Kath joked with me about making full size things like socks, and stuff with cables in, so of course I decided to try cabling. The result was pretty cool, even if I say so myself (yes, you did hear me right, I’m actually proud of something I’ve done!) but I didn’t know what to do with it. Then it dawned on me – it had been Kath’s birthday the week before, so I mounted it onto a card, and gave it to her. Of course, she blogged about it, and reading the comments it’s fair to say that my head has swollen so much that I’ll NEVER get out of the door again!
Miniature knitting is actually quite addictive – I have a magnifying craft light which I use, otherwise it would probably be too fiddly. I also only do a few rows at a time, but even so, it’s still helping me with my concentration!
I shall probably sell the cards on Etsy, and Becky is trying a couple on her stall to see what happens. She suggested mounting them in little frames, which is something else I’m looking at.
As an aside, I’m changing webhosts again, and there may be outages, depending on how clever I am at transferring things over. If everything goes tits up, you know why.

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Mushy Valentines Day

Mr D and I have been together for nearly 20 years. We’ve never had a massive falling out, and we have supported each other through some pretty rough shit – though lately that seems to be a little bit one way. I wanted to do or say something meaningful, to show him how much I love him, and the lyrics to one song really stand out.

Day after day I must face a world of strangers
Where I don’t belong, I’m not that strong
It’s nice to know that there’s someone I can turn to
Who will always care, you’re always there
When there’s no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won’t come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won’t last a day without you
So many times when the city seems to be without a friendly face
A lonely place
It’s nice to know that you’ll be there if I need you
And you’ll always smile, it’s all worthwhile
When there’s no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won’t come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won’t last a day without you
Touch me and I end up singing
Troubles seem to up and disappear
You touch me with the love you’re bringing
I can’t really lose when you’re near
If all my friends have forgotten half their promises
They’re not unkind, just hard to find
One look at you and I know that I could learn to live
Without the rest, I found the best
When there’s no getting over that rainbow
When my smallest of dreams won’t come true
I can take all the madness the world has to give
But I won’t last a day without you

– © Karen & Richard Carpenter
(box of tissues available on request)

Visitor

I’m sorry I haven’t posted recently, I’ve had flu and was going to post about how being poorly affects anxiety. This, I think, is much more interesting, although writing it has taken a while because it increases the anxiety when I think about it…
At half past seven on Wednesday morning, Mr D went out to work as he always does, locking the door behind him. I took more notice of this than usual, reassuring myself that the front door was most definitely locked. Trying to be aware of it, so I didn’t start worrying later that he’d forgotten. I have placed a note pad and pen by each front window. I have left the blind in the kitchen closed. I have closed the bathroom door because it casts a shadow at the top of the stairs. I have brought my bag with keys and purse upstairs, and have the front door key and my mobile phone (fully charged) in my pocket. My anxiety was high.
Why?
Last Tuesday, at about 11am, someone knocked on the door. Well, “knock” is a poor choice of verb. “Bang” or “pound” might be better. I froze – then went to the front bedroom window to see if I could work out who it was. Normally, if it’s the postman, I can see their van. The person knocking stopped a moment, then rattled at the letterbox, which is brass, spring loaded and makes one hell of a clatter, before going back to pounding on the door.
There was another knocking – fainter this time, and I wondered if they’d gone next door or something, before realising that they were knocking on the living room window. I peeked out of the upstairs window as much as I dared to see who it was. I could see nothing. They banged on the door again – persistent and belligerent.
Then I heard them try to open the front door.
Words cannot describe how I felt – my mouth was dry, and that familiar hypersensitivity prickled my body. My chest tight, my heart pounding. I ran into the back bedroom that is used as an office and picked up the phone, speed-dialled Mr D’s number and when he answered I heard myself loudly whispering that “they won’t stop knocking, they won’t go away and they’ve tried the front door and…”
By this time I was in a full blown state of panic. I sank to the floor and sat against the wall in the bedroom, wanting to hide, wanting to feel safe. I could hear Mr D talking, yet again being my rock. He asked “can you see who it is?” and I stood up and peeped out of the window – in time to see a turquoise car pull off the drive. Yes, off the drive. I didn’t have my glasses on so couldn’t see a registration number, and because I was in such a state I don’t even know what make and model it was.
My afternoon was spent in a state of high alert – every car that went past I was aware of. I closed the blind in the office, and stayed there, hardly daring to move. I didn’t want to think about it because it was making me feel worse, but every distraction technique I could think of meant that if someone did try to get in again, I might not hear them. I was leery of putting the tv on in case the light or sound could be seen from outside. I didn’t want to put my mp3 player on because my headphones are noise cancelling ones. I couldn’t concentrate on a book.
Rationalising afterwards, and trying to figure out who it could be, I decided that it couldn’t be anyone I know – they wouldn’t be that cruel. Maybe a salesperson. We have some loose tiles on the roof, and sometimes builders knock to see if we want a quote. Maybe the police – but surely they would call out to announce themselves if it was that important? Plus in all of these scenarios, WHAT THE FUCK GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO TRY THE FRONT DOOR???
I’m okay now. I think. I was thinking that this has knocked me back a bit, I’ve been way more anxious when I’m out, and on Friday when B brought me home from the knitting group, I was almost scared to open the door. However, nobody has been back since, so I’m inclined to think it was some kind of salesperson.
Bastards, whoever they were.