Progress

The health food shop was small, familiar. Ideal. Heart in mouth, she glanced round. The street was still fairly quiet – it was only 9am.
“Can you wait there?” she asked, the words tumbling somewhat. “I’m going in by myself.”
He nodded, going with the flow.
She took a deep breath, mentally reminded herself that her phone was in her pocket, and he would be waiting just there. Not too far away. Determined, she strode into the shop, aware that if she waited too long outside she’d put herself off and not do it. There were a few people around, but it wasn’t busy. She knew what she wanted, and where it was. She had deliberately chosen something that was at the back of the shop – it would be far too easy if she could do this whole thing while barely taking a few steps inside. Remember, “just outside your comfort zone”. Mentally taking the journey through a familiar shop, it had seemed so easy when she’d planned it. Now she was here.
She got to the back of the shop effortlessly, picked up the bottle of eco fabric conditioner, and started walking quickly to the front where the till was. Suddenly, she stopped. “I’m doing this far too fast” she thought. Aware of what J had said about staying in the situation until the anxiety had passed, she started to look at soap, essential oils, herbal teas – anything, something. She tried not to look at people, not wanting to be drawn into conversation. Not wanting to suddenly notice they were there. “right” she thought, “I need to pay for this”.
At the front of the shop, she could see through the window to the street where he was waiting. The sight was familiar, comforting. This was nearly over. With renewed zeal, she approached the counter, smiled, handed over her money – and in a few seconds she was leaving the shop.
At the door, there was a moment of increased anxiety as she realised she was Outside again, but within moments she was standing by his side – safe again.
“OK?” he asked.
She nodded, feeling slightly sick, rather anxious, tired yet somehow happy.

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2 thoughts on “Progress

  1. Roxy says:

    I just want to say you are very very lucky to have Mr D, you seem to rely on him so much and he understand your craziness (I mean that in the nicest way) It’s wonderful to have a man who loves the crazy side

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