When is a bed “two large items”?

When you’re dealing with my local council, that’s when.
The old bed from our spare room has been gathering dust in the garage until I could be bothered to call the council and ask them to take it away.
I made that call this morning. The woman on the phone explained about how they can only dispose of “three large items, or six small items, or a combination of both” in any three month period. This sounded okay, then she said,
“The base of the bed counts as one large item, and the mattress counts as one large item.”
So, my bed has become officially two large items. She asked if it was a double bed, and I replied, “Yes”. It is in fact a king size, so I hope I don’t use up any of my quota. While I think about it, I took the drawers from the divan out to make it easier to haul downstairs. I wonder if they’ll count them separately? I could put them back in, but the council people will just have to take them out again to take it away, otherwise they’ll roll out.
The woman asked me where I’d leave it. I told her on the driveway. I have visions of my anicent bed being on display, complete with its historical muck. I mean, I never peed the bed or anything, but it’s still quite a feeling of exposure.
* * * * *
You may recall I had put the old mattress on our new bed base. Well, it’s worse. So bad, in fact, that Ginger has let me buy a completely new mattress without so much as a blink. I took him to the bed superstore on the pretence of ‘looking at prices, you know, just to see‘ and we ended up buying a new mattress completely. It’s a good one, thick and luxurious, with a pocket sprung interior. And it was half price *beams* We like ‘half price.’
The new mattress will take two weeks to order. I wonder if it’s a good time to test out the sofa-bed?